QUOTE OF THE DAY

"It's going to be legen -- wait for it -- dary." Suit up. "How I Met Your Mother" ends tonight.

A Weekend in Paris

THE STORY

US Sec. of State John Kerry made a detour to Paris for a little alone time with his Russian counterpart. They both have ideas on how to stabilize Ukraine. Just different ones.

WHAT DOES RUSSIA WANT?

A little Ukrainian political reform. They're throwing around the word federation and envision a Ukraine where certain provinces get some independence, like the right to speak Russian, pursue policies different from Ukraine's government, and increase cultural connections (cough, to Russia, cough).

WHAT DOES THE US WANT?

For Russia to a) stop gathering thousands of troops by Ukraine's border and b) not take control of more land in the region.

theSKIMM

These convos no longer have much to do with Crimea--Russia pretty much won that argument. But Russia's proposals make the West worried that it could be setting itself up to have a virtual veto over Ukraine's government. Kerry and his counterpart have already met a handful of times, so you can see how good they are at making progress...

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE ASKED TO TAKE A SURVEY...

Usually, I'd say no but you never know what could happen. That's the idea right now in Turkey, where local elections just took place. Normally local elections aren't the most exciting events, but the stakes in yesterday's election were pretty high. The elections were a big test for Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, who has ruled for more than a decade and is battling corruption allegations and security leaks, and his party. According to preliminary results, Erdogan's party came out on top. Erdogan, who has been feeling out a run for president, celebrated by vowing to pursue the "traitors" who have accused him of corruption. Yippee.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN SOMEONE BRINGS UP THE NEW "HARRY POTTER"...

Good thing it's not animated, or it would have to compete with "Frozen" -- now the highest grossing animated film ever. "Frozen" took the crown from another Disney/Pixar movie, "Toy Story 3." Let it go, Woody.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN ASKED ABOUT YOUR WEEKEND...

It was Madness. Wisconsin beat top-seeded Arizona in overtime on Saturday. Top ranked Florida also had a good Saturday by beating Dayton, ending Cinderella's trip to the ball. UConn pulled an upset to beat Michigan State. Kentucky hit a 3-pointer with just over two seconds left last night to beat Michigan. The winners head to the Final Four, officially giving you a reason to start planning your weekend.

WHAT TO SAY AFTER COMPLAINING ABOUT THE WEATHER...

Ain't seen nothin' yet. According to a United Nations group, the effects of climate change are only going to get worse. The report details the depletion of food and water supplies (something that would hit poor nations particularly hard), destruction of coral reefs, and melting of the Arctic. So moves to combat further risk should probably be made, like now. The report comes as countries try to sort out a new climate treaty. No pressure.


SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

Chris Livingston (New York, NY); Deborah Bald (Atlanta, GA); Jen Honsberger Topp (Bethlehem, PA); Siobhan Montag (Ft. Lauderdale, FL); Suzy Goldstein (Washington, DC); Zoe L'esperance (New York, NY); Cristina Graziano; Jennifer Rieck (Austin, TX); Andrew Labovitz (New York, NY); Kelly Buechel (South Orange, NJ); Rob Fishman (New York, NY); Natalie Howlett (Brooklyn, NY); Sharon Prager (San Mateo, CA); Mallory Beck (New York, NY)

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