Skimm for February 23rd

Skimm'd with champagne and popcorn.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"It's bizarre and absurd that we're even having this discussion" -- US Homeland Security Sec. Jeh Johnson. Congress is fighting over how to fund his department. Johnson is not amused.

HOW I MET YOUR MEH

THE STORY

That musical you watched last night was called the Oscars. Spoiler: the show didn't end on time.

WHO WON?

"Birdman" can fly in any weather, especially the Best Picture and Best Director categories. Eddie Redmayne is officially a star. Julianne Moore can live a little longer now. JK Simmons won and scored mom points. Patricia Arquette's 12 years of "Boyhood" paid off. The musicians formerly known as Common and John Legen--wait for it--dary made everyone cry with "Glory." And then Lonnie Lynn and John Stephens brought home their trophy. This won best speech.

WHO LOOKED HOT?

J.Lo took the plunge (again). Rosamund Pike looked amazing (Amy). Eddie Redmayne rocked the navy. Olivia Pope had it handled. Lupita Nyong'o wore her grandmother's pearls. All of them.

WHO LOOKED NOT SO MUCH?

Lady Gaga escaped from Alice and Wonderland. Gwyneth Paltrow brought her pet flower. ScarJo left algae on her neck. And Jared Leto hasn't cut his hair since he won last year.

AND NPH?

Neil Patrick Harris opened with a bang by saying the Oscars were for "Hollywood's best and whitest." Early burn. He later talked about balls. Then kinda showed us his balls. He sang a lot. Still, Barney Stinson managed to be less than thrilling. It's a hard show.

ANYTHING ELSE?

Some actresses are tired of 'who are you wearing?' and would like Ryan Seacrest to #AskHerMore. Patricia Arquette took her time at the mic to push equal pay for women. Meryl and J.Lo agreed. John Travolta, still living down Adele Dazeem, now has this to explain. And it turns out Lady Gaga can sing. But really.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT PEOPLE ARE WATCHING…

Security at the Mall of America. Yesterday, the biggest mall in the US tightened security after a threatening video was released, allegedly by al-Qaeda linked group al-Shabab. The group called on others to attack the Mall of America and shopping malls in Western countries. The FBI has been working with malls around the US to bulk up security. Meanwhile, the Department of Homeland Security says it doesn't know of any credible threat, but that shoppers should stay vigilant. Reminder: al-Shabab is the same Somali terror group that attacked a mall in Kenya in 2013, killing 67 people.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN SOMEONE MANSPREADS ON THE SUBWAY…

You're in my space and I don't like it. Turkey can relate. Over the weekend, Turkey launched a military operation in northern Syria to rescue soldiers who were surrounded by ISIS. The Turkish soldiers had been guarding an Ottoman tomb that houses the remains of an important historical figure, Suleyman Shah. To make sure ISIS kept its paws off, Turkey decided to move its 38 guards and Shah's remains. As a next-door neighbor, Turkey's definitely felt the effects of Syria's civil war. Millions of Syrian refugees have fled over the border, but this is the first military operation Turkey's launched in Syria since the civil war started.

WHAT PEOPLE ARE READING…

Sally Kohn. On Friday, the CNN commentator wrote a piece for the Washington Post called "I'm gay. And I want my kid to be gay, too." You also might've heard people talking about the New York Times article on solitary confinement. Turns out, the US prison system has had a habit of putting inmates in solitary for years for things like updating their Facebook profiles, but that's changing.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU NEED A QUICK DINNER…

Shake 'n bake. "Talladega Nights" got real over the weekend with the annual Daytona 500 -- aka NASCAR's biggest race. It's 500 miles of fast and furious driving held in Daytona Beach, FL. And 24-year old Joey Logano took the top title for the first time. Who didn't have a great weekend? Tony Stewart. The NASCAR star driver has never won this race.

THING TO KNOW

Gray vs. Grey: Same color, different countries. If you're an American, you have gray hair. If you're English, you have grey hair. Or, you can always be a silver fox.


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SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

Skimm'bassador Beth Shaw (Clearwater, FL); Skimm'bassador Abby Dunkin (Charlotte, NC); Skimm'bassador Jessica Matheson (Stafford, VA); Skimm'bassador Lesli Adkins (Fort Worth, TX); Skimm'bassador Emily Rice (Ellicott City, MD); Skimm'bassador Taylor Rochwerg (Montreal, Canada); Caroline Marzonie (New York, NY); Kyle Marzonie (New York, NY); Caroline Willkie (Darien, CT); Dorie Golkin (New York, NY); Deirdre O'Donoghue (Wauwatosa, WI); Ro Nagpal (New York, NY); Michael Riddering (St. Louis, MO); Lauren Drell (New York, NY); Immanuel Palugod (Durham, NC); Matt Elkin (New York, NY); Melissa Kirkland (Jacksonville Beach, FL); Sean Delaney (New York, NY); Aggie Bell (New Orleans, LA); Elle Little (St. Louis, MO); Alexandra Jones (Long Valley, NJ); Casey Easley (Norwalk, CT); Julia Englander (Upper Brookville, NY); Lindsay Kramer (New York, NY); Rosemary Chandler (Boston, MA); Ahmad Thabet (Washington, DC); Kerry Pearson (Chicago, IL); Jenna Pearson (Phoenix, AZ); Rachel Jones (Los Angeles, CA); Amy Libby (Brooklyn, NY); Jenna Hodgkins (Bayside, NY); Kimberly Quigley (Fresno, CA); Kirsten Carlson (Winnetka, IL); Leslie Delemeester (Saint Charles, MI); Mia Talamantes (Los Angeles, CA); Elizabeth Watters (Birmingham, AL); Marita Black (Jersey City, NJ); Robin Lund (Marina del Rey, CA); Megan McDevitt (Drexel Hill, PA); Grace Helmer (Atlanta, GA); Alex Menter (Chicago, IL); Marianne Fitzpatrick (Cohasset, MA); Sandra Hancock (Leesburg, GA);  Alli Tugendhaft (Chappaqua, NY); Becky Little (Charlotte, NC); Melissa Mariaschin (New York, NY); Judy Conrad (Rye Brook, NY); Eileen Hogan (Chicago, IL); Virginia Leone (White Plains, NY)