Skimm for September 9th
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QUOTE OF THE DAY

"9.9.2014. Wish we could say more" -- Not an apocalypse prediction. Apple's totally low-key way of saying the iPhone 6 is on its way.

FRIED RICE

THE STORY

Yesterday, star NFL running back Ray Rice was cut from the Baltimore Ravens and given an indefinite suspension by the NFL, after video surfaced of him punching his then-fiancee (now-wife).

HAVEN'T I HEARD THIS STORY ALREADY?

Kind of. Months ago, video of part of the incident surfaced, in which Rice dragged his then-fiancee Janay Palmer from the elevator of an Atlantic City hotel and casino. Rice was charged with assault. In July, the NFL suspended him for two games. The league recently suspended another player for a year for testing positive for marijuana. So yes, a two-game suspension got some flak. A lot of reporters said the NFL watched the video before making the decision; the NFL didn't say otherwise. Less than two weeks ago, the NFL sent a letter to all owners outlining a new, stricter domestic violence policy. Slow clap.

WHAT'S THE LATEST THEN?

Yesterday, TMZ released the extended cut, which shows Rice punching Palmer, her head hitting a rail, and her body falling to the ground. The NFL said 'oops, never saw this' and served Rice with the indefinite suspension. Cue multiple eyebrow-raises and cries of 'what do you mean you didn't see it?'

theSKIMM

It's the NFL's opening week, and it was only expecting on-field tackles. Now, the league's in the hot seat over what it knew and when. Meanwhile, there are a lot of Rice jerseys back on the market.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR CO-WORKER ALWAYS SEEMS TO BE A COUPLE OF STEPS AHEAD

You know something I don't? Yesterday, former SAC Capital portfolio manager Mathew Martoma was sentenced to nine years in prison for insider trading. SAC Capital – named after founder Steven A. Cohen – used to be the hottest hedge fund on the block, and at one time managed a very big pile of cash. Unfortunately, the government says SAC was also doing it very illegally. Over the last year, SAC has pleaded guilty to insider-trading charges, agreed to pay over a billion in fines, stopped managing outside cash, and changed its name. And Martoma became a poster boy for the firm's illegal trades – in February he was convicted of taking part in one of the largest insider-trading schemes ever. #ResumeBuilding

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU FEEL A COLD COMING ON

I hope that's all it is. More than 1,000 children in at least 10 US states -- mostly in the Midwest and South -- have come down with a serious respiratory illness that's leaving many of them hospitalized. The enterovirus starts out like the common cold (think: runny nose, fever, etc.) but can escalate to the point where kids have trouble breathing. The enterovirus isn't rare, but what's so unusual is that this outbreak is causing an uptick in hospitalization. And now would be good time to wash your hands.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU GO SEE A COVER BAND…

This feels different. Croatia's Marin Cilic took the top prize at yesterday's US Open men's final match. It's the first time since 2005 that no one named Roger, Andy, Rafa, or Novak was in it until the end. Cilic beat out Japan's Kei Nishikori -- who was the first Japanese man ever to play in a Grand Slam final -- in straight sets.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU SEE THE NEW 'BUY' BUTTON IN YOUR TWITTER FEED…

This is getting too easy. Yesterday, Whole Foods got down with the Interwebs by pairing up with Instacart – a website and app that lets you order groceries and have them delivered in as quickly as an hour. Whole Foods took a breath, looked around, and realized that many of its new competitors had a ".com" attached to their names. It's a big step for Whole Foods to expand its delivery options -- with the goal being healthier, better, faster, stronger. Whole Foods will be giving you the option to pay online, pick up and go in Boston and Austin next month, before expanding to other cities.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU FINALLY REACH 'INBOX ZERO'…

Recharged. Yesterday, General Electric announced it sold its appliance business to Swedish company Electrolux for a cool $3.3 billion. Which means a lot of the "electric" things that GE is known for are going out the door. Saying 'see ya' to appliances is all a part of GE CEO Jeff Immelt's vision to streamline the company and focus on the big money makers like industrial equipment (aka jet engines). And even though laundry machines and refrigerators are still profitable, they brought in a fraction of GE's billions in annual revenue. Electrolux is keeping the brand name, so you'll still see the GE letters in stores. Phew.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU DROP YOUR LUNCH…

Haven't felt this defeated since I tried and failed to buy the "Never Ending Pasta Pass."

THING TO KNOW

Oxford comma: The comma used before the word "and" in a list. One way to get grammar enthusiasts' attention, start a debate, and get people pretty heated. See what we did there?


SKIMM GIFT

You know where you're not? On the Inca Trail. Get there. 7-nights in Peru. Adventure. Good Insta pic opportunities.


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SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

Skimm'bassador Sara Oliphant (Dallas, TX); Skimm'bassador Rachael Melancon (Lafayette, LA); Amanda Soled (New York, NY); Chrissy Bassitt (Houston, TX); Abbi Neuthaler (Chappaqua, NY); Lauren Caire (Nashville, TN); Patricia Gill (Chicago, IL); Jamie Gross (Merrick, NY); Stephanie Mark (Toronto, CA); Catrina Thomas (Hoboken, NJ); Claire Ryan (North Barrington, IL); Alisa Kesten (New Rochelle, NY); Annelise Catanzaro (Parsippany, NJ); Pam Strobel (Winnetka, IL); Clair Crozier (Nashville, TN)

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