Skimm'd with the windows open
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"They may contain small pieces of glass" — Nestle on why it recalled millions of Stouffer's lasagnas, Lean Cuisines, and DiGiorno pizzas. Drunk eating just got extreme.
"MAKE ME PRESIDENT"
Last night, the GOP candidates did deep breathing exercises on the debate stage and softly whispered Donald Trump's new mantra: civil, civil, civil.
WHAT DID THEY TALK ABOUT?
Grown up things. Like grandma, and how she's getting her Social Security. Sen. Marco Rubio (FL) and Sen. Ted Cruz (TX) want to raise the retirement age roof, Gov. John Kasich (OH) wants to prep you to get less than expected, and Trump thinks it should stay the same. Lookin' at you, Boca. Jobs, and whether foreign workers are taking all of them. Education, and who hates Common Core more. Israel, and who would win in a game of 'Let's Make a Deal' between Israelis and Palestinians. Cuba, and whether the US should put out the diplomatic cigar until there's a regime change. Islam, and whether it 'hates America.' Trump said yes, and if you disagree you're just being PC. Rubio said au contraire, I'm just being C.
Punches are always thrown at debates. But earlier this week, a protester was literally punched by a Trump supporter at a rally. The other candidates were asked if this is a bad look for the GOP. Short answer: yes. Trump basically said 'things get rowdy sometimes.'
The RNC Chair had an 'eat, pray, let's please not destroy the party' moment last night. That's because a lot of people are worried that the GOP establishment won't support a Trump nom. And since this is the last debate before key primaries next week, it's getting to be time for the party to figure its sh*t out.
REPEAT AFTER ME...
WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU "ACCIDENTALLY" LOOK THROUGH YOUR BF'S TEXTS…
Any interesting names in here? Yesterday, thousands of confidential ISIS documents were leaked. The docs are basically a 'Who's Who' of the group, with identities of ISIS members all over the world. The leaked docs -- which got into the hands of Britain's Sky News and others -- reportedly came from a disgruntled ISIS employee. Now, German, US, and British intelligence officials are reviewing the docs to see if they're legit. They reportedly contain light reading like applications for ISIS recruits -- complete with names, 'level of obedience,' references, and phone numbers. If they're real, the docs could be helpful for the international community looking to take down ISIS. And it comes at a time when ISIS has been showing some weakness. Earlier this week, the US said it had captured a top chemical weapons engineer for the group, who's now providing useful info about, yup, ISIS's chemical weapons plans. And maybe also on its chemical imbalances.
WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR FRIEND GETS BACK TOGETHER WITH HER EX FOR THE FOURTH TIME...
The saga continues. Yesterday, the Department of Justice fired back at Apple's refusal to unlock a terrorist's iPhone. Reminder: all this bad apple blood has to do with last year's terror attack in San Bernardino, CA that killed 14 people. The FBI wants Apple to hack into the shooter's iPhone to hopefully get some good intel. But as part of Apple's security features, the company has no way to unlock its own phones. And the passcode is apparently not 'ABC1.' So Apple said 'iCan't help you,' because they think unlocking the phone could compromise customer security if the technology gets into the wrong hands. Last month, a judge agreed with the FBI, and ordered Apple to help unlock the phone. But again, Apple responded with...NO. Yesterday, the DOJ responded by calling Apple's strong stance a marketing strategy. iBurn. Speaking of marketing, Apple decided yesterday to give everyone a scheduling memo. The company said its next product announcement will be on March 21st, just one day before Apple defends itself against the FBI in court. Looks like the Apple doesn't fall far from the judgmental tree.
WHAT TO SAY AFTER YOU SPRING FORWARD THIS WEEKEND…
California's making big changes too. Yesterday, Cali lawmakers approved a group of bills that regulate how old you have to be to light up in the state. One of the bills raises the age to purchase and smoke cigarettes from 18 to 21, and another bill has the same restrictions on e-cigs. Put down the vape. Opponents say it's not the government's job to tell 18-year-olds (who can vote and go to war) what they can and can't light up. Supporters are saying 'ummm ever heard of lung cancer?' Now the bill goes to the governor to be potentially signed into law.
WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO'S HOPING TO MEET SOMEONE AT SXSW...
Hope he's a DILF. Hiiii, Adam Levine.
"Center Stage" meets "Black Swan." About a ballerina prodigy who puts that barre class you took to shame. Includes a questionable relationship with her mentor and a lot of competitive drama. Shut up and dance-slash-read.
Your new ballet book is all about the pink. Now, drink the pink with this rose.
*indicates Skimm'bassador. Party time.
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