Skimm'd in new PJs
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"You lost control of your bowels in the middle of our restaurant" — A DC restaurant responding to a bad Yelp review from someone who must have had a really crappy time.
Yesterday, House Speaker Paul Ryan said he's buying a one-way ticket on the Trump Train.
WHY IS THIS NEWS?
Because Ryan and Trump have been like Regina George and Gretchen Wieners over the past few months. On the same team, but not-so-secretly hating each other. That's because Ryan is the poster boy for the GOP establishment, and Trump is the poster boy for 'F the establishment.' At the start of this whole election process, people even thought Ryan himself might run. And then last month, Ryan said he wasn't ready to throw support behind Trump. But yesterday, apparently after some encouraging one-on-ones over the past few weeks, Ryan said the pair has "more common ground than disagreement." The stuff of great bromance.
OK. SO WHAT'S NEXT?
Voters in California head to the polls next week. It's a key state with a lot of delegates. For Republicans, it'll be a chance to see how strong voter turnout is when the nominee is pretty much decided. For Democrats, it's expected to be close. So close it Berns.
Paul Ryan was pretty much the last stand for the GOP establishment's campaign against Trump. His endorsement could push other hesitant Republicans to change their minds about the real estate mogul, or it could divide the party even further.
REPEAT AFTER ME...
WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO POSTED MULTIPLE INSTAS OF PRINCE...
Yesterday, health officials said Prince died from an accidental opioid overdose. The singer passed away back in April after he was found unresponsive in an elevator at his home in Minnesota. At the time, no one could confirm how he died, but information slowly leaked out after his death that he may have had an addiction to prescription drugs. The drug he died from was fentanyl, a painkiller that can be used for cancer patients. Prince -- who was 112 pounds when he died -- suffered from hip pain during his career, but it's not clear if the fentanyl that killed him was prescribed by a doctor.
WHAT PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT…
The UCLA shooting. Earlier this week, a former UCLA grad student went back to campus and killed a professor and himself. Then yesterday, authorities found out that the shooter killed his wife in Minnesota first before traveling to UCLA. The tip off? A note in the office where the UCLA shooting happened, asking the finder to go check on the shooter's cat in Minnesota. When police arrived in MN, they found a "kill list" that included the professor who was shot and the shooter's wife. Authorities then tracked down the shooter's wife and found her dead. There was a third name on the "kill list," another UCLA professor who was off-campus at the time and remains unharmed. The motive for the killings is still unclear.
WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU TELL SOMEONE 'LET'S DO LUNCH SOON' AND THEY FOLLOW UP THE NEXT DAY...
You interpreted that differently. Germany and Turkey are interpreting things differently too. Yesterday, Germany's parliament voted to recognize the Armenian genocide. Aka that time during WWI when Ottoman forces massacred a lot of Armenians. And what is now Turkey was then the HQ of the Ottoman Empire. Armenia, and the Kardashians, say 1.5 million people died. Turkey says 300,000 people died. Turkey's also refused to label it a genocide, saying there was no systematic attempt to destroy all Armenians. Germany — which was the Ottoman Empire's ally during WWI — has officially stayed mum on the debate. Das over. More than 20 countries, including France, Italy, and Russia also consider the killings to be a genocide. After yesterday's vote, Turkey recalled its ambassador to Germany. This all comes as Turkey and Germany have been working together to stem the flow of migrants and refugees into the EU. Great timing for relationship drama.
WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR CO-WORKER WHO WEARS A STEPH CURRY JERSEY TO CASUAL FRIDAYS...
How's the hangover? Last night was the first night of the NBA finals. It's a déjà vu showdown between LeBron James and Steph Curry, two players who have battled all year for the 'best baller on the court' title. Oh, and their teams the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Golden State Warriors were there too. The Warriors took home the W in round one. But it's a best of 7 series, so stay tuned. Meanwhile in France, tennis players from around the world are competing in the French Open and eating better cheese than you. The men's and women's championships are this weekend, and yesterday, Serena Williams advanced to the semis. Shocking.
By the lady who wrote "The Vacationers." College bandmates end up on the same Brooklyn block decades later. Spoiler: there are hipsters. Plus love triangles, a shady yoga guru, and a big-time Hollywood producer. It's "Friends" meets "Almost Famous" meets the beach read you'll be recommending all summer.
Wake up and smell the sauvignon blanc. This is the one you want in your beach bag to pair with all those oysters you'll be putting away this summer. Drop this: vinify means the process of turning grapes into wine. Pretty shucking fancy. Drink up.
Friends don't let friends miss things like National Donut Day (psssst: it's today). Download Skimm Ahead here to never miss out on planning for the important things in life, and treat yourself to a donut…at every bakery on your walk to work. Because variety.
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