Skimm'd with confetti poppers
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Old age and dry eye" – The reason a woman thought her eyes were irritated. Turns out the irritation was from 27 contact lenses stuck in her eye. Eye scream, you scream.
THINGS TAKING A MEGA BYTE
Amazon is officially coming for Blue Apron.
Last month, Amazon said 'we're hungry' and made plans to shell out nearly $14 billion to buy Whole Foods. Since Amazon is the king of delivery, the deal made everyone else in the grocery business say 'oh sh*t.' Especially Blue Apron. The deal was part of the reason the meal kit delivery service was forced to lower its expected value right before it went public.
So what's the latest?
Amazon has filed a trademark for a meal kit service of its own. And Blue Apron investors did not take it well. The company's shares fell to one of their lowest points since the company went public.
As a private company, Blue Apron was estimated to be worth around $2 billion. As a public company, it's now worth a little more than half that, and it may be time to cook up a new strategy.
Yesterday, IBM said it's found a breakthrough way to give hackers the middle finger.
What are you talking about?
In recent years, data breaches have become the new black. Hacks on everyone from Target to Anthem have exposed millions of customers' personal info. In many cases, the hackers are able to get their hands on all the data because it's not encrypted. Encryption's a way of scrambling data so that it's unreadable. But it's really hard and expensive to encrypt loads of data in large batches.
So what's the latest?
IBM says it has a fix. It's developed a new mainframe, aka a giant computer server, that can encrypt billions of transactions in a day. But companies have to cough up half a million dollars to upgrade to this new system.
This could be a game changer for digital security. And give customers a reason to breathe easy when forking over personal and financial data to places like banks, retailers, and health companies.
REPEAT AFTER ME...
What to say when the group text can't agree on a day for brunch…
Probably not going to happen at this rate. Just like the Senate GOP's plan to repeal and replace Obamacare. The bill needs just about every Republican senator to vote 'yay' in order for it to pass. And yesterday, two senators put themselves in the 'nay' camp – bringing the total to four. Meaning the bill is basically killed. Senate GOP leaders have been editing the bill for weeks to try and win over as many votes as possible. Conservative Republicans say the plan doesn't do enough to ctrl + z Obamacare. So GOP leaders changed it to allow insurance companies to sell cheaper plans, so people don't have to pay for benefits like maternity and mental health care if they don't need it. Moderate Republicans are worried the plan's Medicaid cuts could leave tens of millions of Americans without insurance. So GOP leaders set aside funding for health costs like opioid addiction treatment. But none of these sweeteners have worked. President Trump suggests that Republicans should repeal Obamacare and build a new plan from scratch. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) says that in the coming days, the Senate will vote on whether to do just that. Paging a political doctor.
What to say when your co-worker starts spreading a rumor about the boss...
Troublemaker. Earlier this week, US intelligence officials told the Washington Post that the United Arab Emirates posted a fake news story that sparked the Persian Gulf's diplomatic showdown. The one that started last month, when the UAE, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, and Egypt cut off diplomatic ties with Qatar. They say it's because Qatar supports terrorist groups and that the country's too cozy with Iran, which is considered enemy no. 1 in the 'hood. As proof, they pointed to comments on Qatar's state-sponsored news website where Qatar's leader praised Iran. Qatar's been saying 'not true' to all of the above and that the news story was fake. Now it turns out they might've been onto something. US officials reportedly say it was the UAE that hacked the news site and planted those pro-Iran comments. The UAE's saying 'us? No way.' Engulfed in drama.
What people are talking about…
The Minneapolis, MN shooting. Over the weekend, a woman called 911 to report a possible sexual assault happening near her Minneapolis home. Two officers responded, and one of them ended up shooting her. It's unclear how this ended up happening. Minneapolis officers started wearing body cameras last summer to capture evidence in moments like this, but these officers didn't have their cameras turned on. The victim's family is demanding answers and authorities have launched an investigation.
What to say to your friend who says her gyno's just like Dr. Lahiri…
What people are shocked by…
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THING TO KNOW
Not a unicorn convention. It's the non-profit group that sets the standards for translating normal human language into computer speak. The group is also in charge of giving new emojis the 'approved' stamp. Thanks to them, there's now a breastfeeding lady and an exploding head emoji. *Sends prayer hands.*
* indicates Skimm'bassador. Pop bottles.
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