Skimm for August 1st
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QUOTE OF THE DAY

"The Case of the Incredible Shrinking Airline Seat" – A federal judge, calling on aviation officials to regulate seat sizes on planes. No, you're not imagining things. Yes, this judge feels your pain.

HOW TO LOSE A JOB IN 10 DAYS

The Story

Yesterday, the new White House Chief of Staff kissed the new Communications Director goodbye.

Tell me more.

10 days ago, President Trump named Anthony 'The Mooch' Scaramucci head of comms. Press Secretary Sean Spicer resigned in protest. The Mooch spilled all the tea, on the record. And pushed out Chief of Staff Reince Priebus. Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly took over as chief of staff. And promptly told Mooch to pack his love fern and go.

Why'd he get fired?

Kelly – a retired four-star Marine general – has no time for drama. He apparently thought Scaramucci was an unprofessional liability. The White House said Scaramucci wanted to give Kelly "a clean slate" by exiting.

theSkimm

Add Scaramucci's name to a growing list of people whose time at 1600 Penn was short-lived. This is a clear sign that Kelly wants to get the White House's priorities back on track. That means tax reform and healthcare.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

What people are watching…

Venezuela. Early this morning, two Venezuelan opposition leaders were taken from their homes by state security agents. This is one of Venezuelan President Maduro's first moves since the country voted over the weekend for a special assembly to rewrite the constitution. Turnout was seriously low, and the vote has been challenged by opposition leaders and the international community as a signal that Maduro is moving towards a dictatorship. Yesterday, the US sanctioned Maduro, freezing his US assets and banning Americans from working with him. Maduro says the new assembly gives him the power to end years of political and economic chaos. Both opposition leaders were already under house arrest. It's unclear where they've been taken.

What to say when your co-worker calls in sick but you see her posting beach selfies...

Guilty. Just like former Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Yesterday, a federal judge said Arpaio ignored a court order to quit racially profiling people during traffic stops. Arpaio called himself "America's toughest sheriff." He spent more than two decades cracking down hard on undocumented immigrants in Arizona before being voted out of the job last year. His resume standout was setting up 'Tent City' – an outdoor prison where inmates were forced to wear pink underwear. Unclear why. In '07, the ACLU accused Arpaio of racially profiling Latinos. A judge sided with the ACLU and banned him from arresting people based only on suspicion of their immigration status. But Arpaio kept doing it anyway. He says the court order wasn't clear. Now, a federal judge says 'yes it was, and you're in contempt of court.' Arpaio could get up to six months in jail. No word yet on whether there will be pink underwear.

What people are talking about…

Kenya. The country's presidential election is next week. And yesterday, it came out that a senior Kenyan election official was recently tortured and murdered. Kenya has a history of falling into chaos around election time. A decade ago, more than 1,000 people were killed in political protests. Now, the current prez is being accused of trying to rig the vote. He says 'not true.' But the official who was murdered was the guy in charge of making sure votes aren't rigged. So many are worried this incident could spark violence at the polls again. Speaking of controversial politics, today Pakistan's parliament will choose the country's new prime minister. Last week, Pakistan's Supreme Court pushed former PM Nawaz Sharif out of his job over his family's alleged shady financials. So the ruling party is expected to shake things up by replacing Sharif with...his brother. Makes so much sense.

What to say to your friend who's a theater buff…

Sad to hear about Sam Shepard. Yesterday, it came out that the playwright and actor recently died of complications from ALS at age 73. Shepard was a Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright. And was nominated for an Oscar for his big-screen work. You also know him as Noah Calhoun's dad or the OG of the "Bloodline" family.

What to say when you hear "Game of Thrones" got hacked

Spoiler: Paris beat LA for the 2024 Olympics Throne.

THING TO KNOW

Steve Bartman

The Chicago Cubs' most notorious fan. In the '03 playoffs, he tried to catch a foul ball. Many say that cost the Cubs the W and a chance at their first championship in decades. Yesterday, the Cubs gave him one of their World Series rings as "closure." Water under the baseball bat.


SKIMM GIFT

We want to send you chasin' waterfalls. In Big Sur. We'll hook you up with flights, hotels, and a luggage set. Plus a shopping spree. Don't stick to the rivers and the lakes you're used to. Enter here.


SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

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