Skimm'd after tabura

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NOVEMBER 15, 2017


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Skimm'd after tabura


"THE OFFICE IS OUTRAGED" – UberEATS failed to deliver Krispy Kremes to this person as promised, and it is NOT ok.


The Story

Zimbabwe's military has taken control of the country's capital.


For decades, 93-year-old President Robert Mugabe has been the authoritarian leader in charge. Last week, he fired his vice president, which many believe was to put his wife in line to succeed him. And Mugabe's party accused the army chief of treason. The army was not pleased. Last night, there were multiple explosions, and gunshots heard near where Mugabe lives.

What's going on now?

The army has him and his wife in custody. It's taken control of government offices, state TV, and is patrolling the capital. It also says that Mugabe and his family are safe, that it's targeting the "criminals" around him, and that this definitely isn't a coup. The US Embassy and others have warned their citizens to stay indoors.


Mugabe has been Zimbabwe's leader since the country's independence in 1980. Now, the situation on the ground seems to be changing – fast.


What to say when you can't remember when your first meeting is…

Jeff Sessions knows the feeling. Yesterday, the Attorney General testified before a House committee as part of its investigation into possible ties between the Trump campaign and Russia. Last month, he testified to Congress that as far as he knew, no one in the Trump campaign had been communicating with the Russians. Then, George Papadopoulos – a former Trump campaign adviser – pled guilty to lying to the FBI about his contacts with Russian officials. Now, Sessions says he remembers meeting with Papadopoulos early last year. And says he shut down his idea to set up a meeting between President Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin. He also says he was still being truthful when he testified differently back in October. It's just that his memory's a little hazy. This is the second time that the attorney general has had to correct his testimony about the Trump campaign and Russia.

What to say when a barista asks if you want whipped cream…

Affirmative. Last night, Australia announced it voted in favor of same-sex marriage. In September, the country sent ballots to voters and gave them two months to send back an 'aye' or a 'nay.' Almost two-thirds of voters gave it two thumbs up. Now it's up to the country's Parliament to decide whether to make this legal.

What to say when your Heads Up timer is running out…

One more thing. Yesterday, Senate Republicans said there's an addition to their tax plan – repealing the Obamacare individual mandate. Over the last few weeks, House and Senate Republicans unveiled their tax plans as part of the party's effort to overhaul the tax code for the first time in decades. Senate Republicans now want to get rid of an Obamacare tax penalty for anyone without health insurance. That's because it could save over $300 billion in ten years, which could help pay for all this tax reform. TBD if the House will add this to its own plan, but it could vote on its bill as early as tomorrow.

What people are watching…

Northern California. Yesterday, a shooter killed at least four people, and injured 10 others after randomly opening fire in multiple locations. The shooter failed to get inside an elementary school that had been placed on lockdown. He left the scene and was later killed by police. This comes as families of victims of the Sandy Hook school shooting are in court. Back in 2012, a gunman went into a school in Newtown, CT and killed 20 children and six adults with an assault weapon. Now the families are requesting that the state's supreme court reinstate a lawsuit against the parent company of the gun manufacturer. They say the company should be held responsible for marketing military-style weapons to civilians. But the company says it's not legally responsible for how someone uses its products. The suit was originally filed in 2014, but it was struck down.

What to say to your friend who loved "One Tree Hill"...

Nothing is safe.

What to say when you're the life of the party…

Feels like a good time for utkatasana.



That feeling when you're waiting for someone to text you back.



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