Skimm'd after delivering thousands of children's books

"Messy bun" – Apparently not an option for ladies of the British royal family. Cc: Meghan Markle.

BABY WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT

The Story

Tonight, the US government shuts down if Congress can't get its act together.

Catch me up.

Every fall, Congress is supposed to pass a budget to fund the gov for a year. This usually doesn't happen on time, because Congress. So they'll often hit the snooze button with short-term bills until they can agree on a long-term one. Congress has passed three short-term bills so far. The last one expires tonight.

What's the game plan?

Another snooze button. Last night, it passed in the House. Now, it's unclear whether there will be enough support in the Senate to get this to President Trump's desk before midnight.

What's the problem?

You mean problems. The first is immigration. Dems still may block the bill if it doesn't include a solution for DACA – the program that protects people illegally brought into the country as kids from being deported. This bill doesn't do that. The second is CHIP – the popular program that provides health insurance to millions of kids from low-income families and is running out of cash. Republicans added CHIP funding for six years in the bill – and it seems like a bargaining chip to get Dems on board after losing their DACA battle. Smooth.

theSkimm

The last time Congress passed the budget on time was in 1996. If Congress can't straighten this out by tonight, it'll lead to the first shutdown since 2013.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

What to say when you see NASA's report on global temperatures...

Heating up. Yesterday, Amazon announced the hotly anticipated list of 20 places it's considering to host its second HQ. Last year, the Seattle-based company announced plans to build a second headquarters somewhere in North America. It said it would create up to 50,000 high-paying jobs wherever it went, and invited everyone to make their pitch to play host. 238 local officials said 'pick meeee.' Yesterday, Amazon said they narrowed down the list of Prime real estate options to some major US cities like NY, LA, DC – and some less obvious ones like Newark, Austin, Nashville, and Toronto. Tucson didn't make the cut, even though they tried to woo Amazon with a cactus. Amazon said it'll give out the final rose sometime this year.

What to say when you hear about this new birth control study...

And then there's this. Yesterday, the Trump administration said it's setting up a new office to protect health workers from carrying out things they're religiously or morally against. Like abortions, gender reassignment surgery, or assisted suicide. Last year, President Trump overturned an Obama-era rule requiring employers to cover birth control in their healthcare benefits. Now, the Trump admin wants to help provide health workers a similar out. Think: things like audits to make sure hospital workers aren't forced to violate their religious beliefs. Critics say this OK's discrimination. Interesting timing – today pro-life supporters will be in DC for March for Life. And Trump will be speaking.

What to say when you hear Tom Brady's season may be in jeopardy...

Here's something else to worry about. A new study shows that repeated head injuries can cause CTE – the degenerative brain disease that's been found in a lot of former football players. People used to think that concussions were the main thing causing CTE, but more and more evidence shows that even hitting your head hard without getting a concussion could cause it. This study is the most definitive find so far that, yes, it's super effing dangerous to get smacked repeatedly in the noggin. Facepalm.

What to say when the worst person you know is complaining...

Meet, Larry Nassar.

What to say when you hear Apple's going to stop slowing down your iPhone for you...

Taking care of business. Cardi B is, too.

SKIMM LIFE

For when you realize January is the Monday of the months...

Gotta start somewhere. Here are the best ways to stay on top of 2018. Even if you've already said 'bai' to your resolutions.

For when you're sipping on a dark and stormy…

"Grist Mill Road" by Christopher J Yates pairs well with its dark and twisted plot. It's about three kids who were part of a bizarre crime in the '80s. Decades later, they reunite – and surprising new details emerge.

For when you're planning your next OOO request...

One Skimm HQ'r is headed to Santa Cruz this weekend. And plans to do some whale watching while on vaca. If you have any good recs, DM us @theSkimm.

SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

* indicates Skimm'bassador. Pop the confetti.

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