Skimm'd while pretending we're athletic

"Size is perceived to matter" – A bagpipe veteran, talking about the size of bagpipe bands. Bet that's not how you thought that sentence would end.

DOW'D THIS HAPPEN

The Story

The Dow Jones had a worse Monday than you.

I know what the Dow is, but I want to hear you say it.

It takes the stock prices from 30 major companies and averages them into one number. People often use that number as a clue for how the stock market is doing.

So what happened?

For months, the Dow's been on a major high. It set a record last month, and President Trump's been taking the credit. Then things started dipping. On Friday, the Dow took a dive. Then yesterday, it dropped more than 1,100 points. As in: the worst single-day point decline in its history.

Why?

No one knows for sure. But there are ideas. Some of them have to do with the fact that the economy is on the up (think: higher pay, lower unemployment). The problem: when that happens it can lead to inflation, which can lead to the Federal Reserve raising interests rates. Investors kryptonite. Even the threat of it makes them say 'this is my nightmare,' and hide their cash. Or it could be something else entirely. Isn't the stock market fun?

Why should I care?

Because if you invest for retirement, this could potentially affect your fund. But heads up the Dow is known to go up and down in the short-term while rising in the long-term. So some people are telling investors planning for the long-term to chill the eff out.

theSkimm

Trump's been using the Dow as a way to humblebrag about his presidency. Not always the best move, because the Dow can be volatile. Case, meet point.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

What to say when no one agrees with your dinner suggestion…

Overruled. Today, Hong Kong's top court overruled prison sentences for three pro-democracy activists. Hong Kong is officially part of China but kinda does its own thing. Back in 2014, Beijing said it was going to limit Hong Kong's elections. This led to months of protests – called the Umbrella Movement – which these activists helped lead. They were arrested, and given fairly light sentences. But Hong Kong's gov – which is stacked with China supporters – said 'not good enough' and state prosecutors appealed. The activists got six to eight months in prison. Human rights groups have given Hong Kong a lot of side eye for the way it's handled the case. Now Hong Kong's top court is saying 'nvm' to the prison sentences. The court still said that future offenders could get stricter punishment.

What to say when something seems a little too familiar…

Déjà vu? Yesterday, the House Intelligence Committee voted to release a memo from Dems that reportedly fills in the missing gaps of last week's memo. Refresher: last week, the GOP released a memo that was supposed to break the internet. It accused the FBI and Justice Dept of anti-Trump bias in their investigation into whether the Trump campaign helped Russia meddle in the presidential election. The FBI said the GOP memo is inaccurate and asked President Trump not to make it public. Trump said 'give the people what they want' and released it anyway. He says it "totally vindicates" him in the Russia investigation. Now, the Dems are saying 'we have a memo too.' This one reportedly backs how the FBI and DOJ have conducted their investigation. Yesterday, the House Intel Committee said 'sure, release it.' Now, it goes to Trump's desk. He has until Friday to decide whether it should come out.

What to say to your friend who's more of a Niles than a Frasier…

Did you hear about this? Last night, it came out that actor John Mahoney died at age 77. He played Martin Crane, the dad on "Frasier," for 11 seasons. You also know him for movies like "Moonstruck" and "Say Anything," and he won a Tony Award back in the '80s. Mahoney's manager says he died in hospice care over the weekend. RIP.

What to say when you're planning a road trip…

Pull out the maps. Yesterday, the Supreme Court denied a request from Pennsylvania Republicans to block a ruling that says their congressional maps need to be redrawn. Years ago, Republicans drew a congressional district map that gave them more political power. A few weeks ago, the Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruled that the map violated the state's Constitution. Because, gerrymandering. Aka when lawmakers redraw electoral maps to benefit their party. The GOP was crossing its fingers that the Supreme Court would let them keep the maps the way they are. The answer was 'nope.' Now, legislators need to submit a revised map by the end of the week. This could mean Democrats could potentially pick up some Republican-held seats in this year's midterm elections.

What to say when you hear Newsweek is in chaos...

Quentin Tarantino is also trying to keep his career afloat.

What to say when you hear about 'lady-friendly' Doritos…

Well then. There's a chemical used to cook McDonald's fries that might be 'sir-friendly.'

THING TO KNOW

LMGTFY:

Let me Google that for you. As in when your coworker asks you something they could easily search for themselves... e.g. "Is it going to rain?" Heads up: the Big G's not just about the search box. It also has this service that's basically a one-stop shop for everything in your home (think: Target, Walmart, Costco). Bonus: Skimm'rs get something extra off their first order.

SKIMM LIFE

For when the delivery guy knows your name...

Get friendly with your cutting board instead. HelloFresh's meal kit delivery service will help you channel your inner Julia Child. And it tastes good too. Oh, and Skimm'rs get an exclusive deal on their first box. Get Started.*

For when you're looking to up your karma points...

Skimm'r of the Week Jeff Blumenfeld (Boulder, Colorado) has an idea or two. The Himalayan Stove Project (HSP) works to preserve the Himalayan environment and improve people's health in the region. They donate and distribute fuel-efficient stoves which help reduce pollution. Help out here.

SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

Jamie Penn NY, Rohini Menezes NY, *Robert Baker CT, *Billy Wallace CO, *Abby Regan MA, *Mary Huttlinger OH, *Sarah Collins CA, *Morgan Wilson TX, *Brynne Deppas OH, *Sarah Coursey Jones KY, *Stacey Buell IL, *Leah Steinig IL, *Kaleigh Mangiarelli MA, *Chelsea Stonerock FL, *Rich Costello, *Meg Bannerman CA, *Amber Carter OR, *Veronica Molina NY, *Stella Karadimas NC, *Jessica McGee MA, *BryAnn Roth OH, *Hannah Hoffman MN, *Sarah Moore VA, *Tanisha Kipling, *Andrea Meislin CA, *Mindy Arbaugh TX, Noah Blum LA, Bev Sinbelian UT, Katherine Zhou NC, Johanna Silbersack NC, Calvin Blissett NY, Sandy Brunicardi CA, Alyson Prosky MA, Julia Liguori DC, Edie Surratt NC, Martha Wright DC, Rachel Webman DC, Erika Giovinazzi NJ, Mary Beth Sprague TX, Stella Karadimas NC, Ellie Feinerman CA, Tara Nehme, Irwin Shapiro MI, Rachel Akin NC, Elizabeth Bernal MA, Jessica Johnson GA, Belle Hernandez CA, Erin Eimerman IL, Lacy McMahon NC, Cassidhe Walker OK, Robin Dudasik FL, Karina Demirchyan CA, Emma Semerad TX, Karie Falck MD, Oren Friedman, Jessica McGee MA, Natalie Corcino FL, Matt Buckles OK, Gina Preziosi AZ, Janel Wildermuth MO, Haley Hegarty, Harley Bartles ME, Allison Levy TX, Elizabeth Hoffman NY, Jesse Brattain FL, Sarah Post NY, BJ Scanlon NY, Sarah Goldstein Post NY, Lynne Kelso Lesky MI, Brittany Donowho DC, Madison Moore GA, Victoria Allen TN