"I was like, 'Hey, my head could probably fit in that'" – A woman who stuck her head in an exhaust pipe. So...that happened.

THINGS PRESIDENT TRUMP GOT FOR HIS BDAY

A Report on Comey

The Story

Yesterday, the report on the FBI's handling of its Hillary Clinton investigation finally dropped.

Unwrap it for me.

The DOJ's inspector general has been looking into how the FBI handled the investigation into Clinton's use of a private email server while sec of state. A 500-page report says former FBI director James Comey was "insubordinate" when he did things like share investigation updates with the public. It also says there's no evidence that bias played a role in the FBI's decision not to recommend charges against Clinton. The report did call out one FBI agent who sent anti-Trump texts – including one that said "we'll stop" Trump from becoming president. The report said that actions like that undermine FBI credibility.

Was this a good or bad present?

Depends who you ask. Both Republicans and Democrats found something they liked. Republicans say it shows that Comey wasn't that great at his job. And that there are agents within the FBI who are against Trump. Dems say it shows that Clinton didn't do anything wrong, now can we please stop talking about her emails?

Anything else?

Plot twist: the report says Comey also used his own private email account for official FBI business. Clinton noticed.

theSkimm

Trump's been waiting for this report to come out, hoping it'll vindicate his decision to fire Comey and prove there is bias in the FBI. Now, both Republicans and Democrats are using it to defend their separate narratives about Comey and the FBI.

A New Lawsuit

The Story

New York's attorney general handed the Trump family a lawsuit.

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The Trump Foundation is tax-exempt. So there are rules on how it can use its money. For years, New York AG's office has been peeking under the Trump Foundation hood. Now, it's saying the charity – which has no employees – was "little more than a checkbook" for President Trump. It says he used the org to pay off biz fees, campaign for prez, and decorate one of his golf clubs. The AG is calling on a judge to dissolve the foundation and get Trump to fork over $2.8 million. And says the IRS and election officials should dig deeper. Trump's calling the suit politically motivated. And says his foundation donated more than $19 million to charity.

theSkimm

Add this to the list of lawsuits brought against Trump while in office.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

What you should be keeping your eyes on…

Nicaragua. Earlier this year, its president introduced changes to the country's social security program so that it doesn't run out of cash. The plan? Make workers pay more and get less when they retire. People said 'that doesn't work for us' and took to the streets. Protests quickly turned violent – and more than 140 people have been killed since they started. The prez hit delete on the plan. But people are still angry. And want him gone. Some say this could become the next Venezuela.

What to say when you're getting ready for a big meeting…

(Law)suit up. Yesterday, Kentucky sued Walgreens, saying the company handed out opioids to customers at an "alarming rate" that can't be medically justified. The opioid epidemic has killed tens of thousands of people in the past couple of years. And Kentucky has been one of the states hit the hardest. Some states have tried to hold drug makers and distributors responsible. Now, Kentucky's attorney general is going after Walgreens. It's the state's sixth opioid-related lawsuit. Walgreens said 'no comment.'

What people are talking about…

This former Walmart. Nearly 1,500 boys who were caught illegally crossing the border are being held at a former Walmart in Texas. This has to do with the Trump administration's new "zero tolerance" policy for anyone who crosses the border illegally. Meaning many parents are jailed, and many kids are put in custody of the Department of Health and Human Services. This facility – run by a nonprofit – is struggling to accommodate everyone. House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-WI) isn't down with the policy of separating kids from their parents. The White House's Sarah Huckabee Sanders disagrees and says it is "very biblical to enforce the law."

What to say when you hear the US Open is in full swing...

Balls on balls on balls. Yesterday, Russia used one to crush Saudi Arabia 5-0 in the opening World Cup match. Two of the goals happened in the last few minutes. But don't get too cocky now, Russia. You and Saudi Arabia are still the lowest ranked teams in the tournament.

PS: There are over 60 games. theSkimm app's sports calendar can help you figure out which ones you'll actually want to tune in to. Get it here. The first month's on us.

What to say when you can't figure out what to wear for a special day…

The Supremes say you can wear whatever you want.

What to say when you hear S-Town is coming to the big screen…

Grab the popcorn. And a fern.