Skimm'd with new glasses

theSkimm50 West 23rd Street, Suite 5B; New York, NY, 10010, United States Update Profile

AUGUST 23, 2018


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"I don't want to talk to anybody" – Why one guy wears headphones to avoid talking with strangers. Same.


The Story

Yesterday, you saw a lot of headlines about President Trump's no good, very bad day.

Yes, halp.

Two former Trump aides are in serious legal trouble: Paul Manafort – his former campaign chairman – who was found guilty of eight counts of bank and tax fraud. And Michael Cohen – his former lawyer and fixer – who pleaded guilty to multiple counts including tax evasion and violating campaign finance law. The campaign finance violation is a BFD because Cohen said Trump was the one who told him to do it (it, off women who claim they've had affairs with Trump). And Cohen said he did it mainly to influence the election – implicating POTUS in a federal crime. Like we said, BFD.

Ok, up to speed. What's the latest?

Cohen seems ready to talk. His lawyer says he might be willing to chat with special counsel Robert Mueller about Trump's knowledge of Russian collusion and email hacking during the 2016 presidential campaign. Meanwhile, NY state investigators subpoenaed Cohen as part of another Trump probe related to his foundation.

What does Trump have to say?

'Cohen, you're dead to me.' But he called Manafort a "brave man" who refused to "break" under pressure. He played down the campaign finance issue – saying he only learned of Cohen's hush money "later on." And that the payments weren't a violation because the money came from him, not his campaign (note: a few months ago, Trump said he didn't know anything about these payments). Details.

Where do things go from here?

There are multiple ways this could play out. Let's break them down:

For Trump...It's unclear. He could be indicted as a co-conspirator to Cohen's crimes...or not. He could be impeached...or not.

For Cohen...He could cooperate with Mueller's investigation to potentially get his sentence reduced. Otherwise, he's already agreed to go along with a sentence between roughly four to five years.

For Manafort...He could either cooperate with Mueller's investigation to get his sentence reduced. Or he could face a maximum of 80 years in prison. Or...Trump may be willing to pardon his ol' pal. Either way, he's got another trial coming up next month for different charges.


Trump has called the Mueller investigation a "witch hunt." Neither Manafort's nor Cohen's crimes are directly related to Russian collusion. But the walls have started to close in on the president. TBD if he'll come out of this unscathed.


What to say when you steal from your SO's dinner plate…

All is fair in love and (trade) war. Today, the US hit China with its second round of tariffs. Yes, the trade war is back. And yes, you will be hearing about it for a while. On a friendlier note, it seems like the US and Mexico are working out their trade beef. Trump is reportedly set to make an announcement soon that a NAFTA deal may work out (n)after all.

What to say to your friend who's afraid of getting catfished…

The Democratic National Committee knows the feeling. Yesterday, the DNC said it discovered a hacking attempt on its voter database. Apparently, hackers created a fake version of the DNC's login page to try to steal users' login info. But the DNC says it caught the attempt before the hackers could steal anything. It's still unclear who's behind this attack. But it's not the first time the DNC's been burned.

Who's getting called out…

Saudi Arabia. The country is pushing for the death penalty against a female human rights activist. Israa al-Ghomgham faces charges related to protesting discrimination against the country's Shiite Muslim minority. The death penalty is pretty common in Saudi Arabia for crimes like murder. But this would apparently be the first time the country's tried to execute a woman for activism. Human Rights Watch says the charges set a bad precedent at a time when women are just starting to gain more freedoms in Saudi Arabia. Speaking of countries getting called out, Malaysia. The country seems increasingly hostile to LGBT people. Last week, a transgender woman was reportedly brutally beaten on the street while several people watched. Over the weekend, police raided a popular LGBT-friendly club, and reportedly arrested 20 people for "illicit behavior." Next week, a lesbian couple is scheduled to be beaten with a cane for having sex – a violation of Islamic rules. Human rights groups are saying these crackdowns need to stop. Now.

What to say to your friend you used to ditch gym class with…

Let's get gym memberships and never go.

What to say when you hear "Crazy Rich Asians" is getting a sequel

Sheldon Cooper is not.