Skimm'd while watching Reese Witherspoon's new show…

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DECEMBER 13, 2018


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Skimm'd while watching Reese Witherspoon's new show…


"We don't think we're doing anything wrong here" – A spice maker called New Bae is getting sued by Old Bay for trademark infringement. Does Salt Bae know about this?


Theresa May

The Story

UK's Prime Minister Theresa May can keep her job after all.


Pretty much everyone has been giving her sh*t about Brexit – the UK's plan to leave the EU thanks to a 2016 vote. But leaving the EU is easier said than done. The main problem: Northern Ireland (part of the UK). No one can figure out how to avoid creating a physical border between it and Ireland (part of the EU). Important, because having checkpoints between the two led to a lot of violence in the past. May's proposed deal hits snooze on that issue, and keeps the UK in the EU's customs union (hint: trade arrangement) until they can figure it out.

What's up with May's job security?

Earlier this week, lawmakers were supposed to vote on May's plan. But people on all sides of the Brexit debate were against it. And it was clear it was going to fail, so she pushed it off. Then dozens of members of her Conservative Party asked for a vote on whether to kick her out. Cold. Yesterday, they voted. And she won the majority she needed to keep her job. So now she's going back to trying to figure how to pass her Brexit deal. But to get members of her party off her case, she implied she would step down before the next election, in 2022.


May came into office to oversee a difficult divorce process with the EU. But the UK is divided on what that new arrangement should look like. And this no-confidence vote proves that. Yesterday's win buys her a little time to figure it all out. But Brexit day is coming in March whether anyone likes it or not.

Michael Cohen

The Story

President Trump's former lawyer-slash-fixer is heading to prison. For three years.


Michael Cohen used to be one of the people closest to Trump. He once went full Bruno Mars and said he'd "take a bullet" for him. But then investigators started looking into Cohen's bank and tax fraud crimes. As well as hush-money payments he made to two women back in 2016 to keep them from coming forward about alleged affairs with Trump. Fun fact: this violated campaign finance laws. He said he made the payments at the direction of Trump, to help him get elected. Prosecutors concur. Trump doesn't. And the company that helped facilitate one of the payments (hi, National Enquirer's parent co) is now cooperating with prosecutors. But that's not all...

Go on...

He'll also be serving time for lying to Congress about an idea that was floated around during the 2016 election to build a Trump Tower in Moscow. The lie: he said convos about this stopped in Jan '16, but they went on through at least June of that year – well into the presidential campaign. He'll turn himself in in March to serve three years in prison, then three years of supervised release.


Cohen cooperated with special counsel Robert Mueller's Trump-Russia investigation, most likely to try to get less prison time. But the judge said he committed a "smorgasbord" of crimes and still put him away for years. TBD if this sways other people from cooperating in the future. Or if Mueller has enough info to drop his report soon.


What you'll be hearing about…

Brazil's first major #MeToo scandal. More than 200 people have accused a famous spiritual healer of sexual abuse. Since 1976, João Teixeira de Faria – aka John of God – has been doing healing ceremonies...and surgeries (think: incisions, scraping people's eyes). He's worked with celebs, politicians, and even got Oprah's attention. Each year, thousands of people visit him. Over the weekend, several women went public with allegations of sexual abuse against him. Prosecutors now say they've gotten more than 200 allegations. Some of the potential crimes reportedly go back more than 10 years, and include accusations of rape. De Faria denies the claims. In other news about scandals, Pope Francis has removed two cardinals from his group of advisers. One from Australia (who was apparently just convicted) and the other from Chile – both tied to alleged sex scandals.

What to say when you agree to move in with your SO…

Let's shake on it. Yesterday, Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) announced she struck a deal with a group of Dems who had promised to vote against her in next month's House speaker election. The fine print: she will limit herself to four more years on the job. And back a proposal that will bring term limits to the party's top leaders. This pretty much guarantees she'll win the election. You gotta do what you gotta do.

What to say when it's that time of the month…

Keep this in mind. Some Kotex tampons are being recalled after reports that they were unraveling and coming apart inside people's bodies. And some customers had to see a doc to get the pieces out. Yeah, we're cringing too. Now the manufacturer is saying 'beware.'

What to say when you hear Marie Kondo is coming to Netflix

Can't wait. We also can't wait for the SAG Awards to start nominating women of color for their work. Still waiting...

What to say when you hear Apple is going to build a new campus in Austin, TX

I work best on sleep.

What to say when you hear about Big Bird Energy...

Well that's new.



The sunroof's shadier cousin. It's a sliding panel that lets light and air into your car, but (unlike a sunroof) it's tinted glass. PS: the Buick TourX has a panoramic (jumbo size) moonroof and other good stuff for your next road trip. Check it out here.


For when you're first in line at the buffet…

Trailblazer. Reese Witherspoon's interviewing women who are setting the tone in her show "Shine On with Reese" with AT&T and Hello Sunshine. Pink, Cleo Wade, and Dolly Parton are there. You should be too. Watch the series on DIRECTV NOW.*

For when someone grabs the last pair of shoes in your size…

Bad timing. You know the feeling when something you buy goes on sale days later? Paribus can help you avoid the taste of regret. It helps get you money back when the price drops on things you've already purchased online from certain retailers and sends the savings right to your account. Meet your wallet's little elf. Sign up here.*

For when you're feeling hair of the dog post holiday party...

Need. Water. This company is giving Skimm'rs flavored water (peppermint, apple, and cherry included) for less. Surprise: you also get a pair of fuzzy socks and free shipping. Go for it.*

*PS This is a sponsored section, which means if you purchase or sign up, theSkimm may get something in return. Thanks.