Testing, testing...

Mission: Testosterone

What’s going on: As the US military conflict in Iran enters its fifth month, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has laid out his strategy… for hormone testing. Hegseth announced Wednesday that he will mandate service members ages 30 and older — women included — to have their testosterone levels checked. Anyone who is deficient will be offered voluntary hormone treatment. It’s a head-scratching initiative to focus on while troops are at war, but it’s also completely on brand for Hegseth, who has pushed to create a more manly military. See also: Renaming the Defense Department the "Department of War" and challenging Fox News hosts to push-up contests. Hegseth said "our most decisive tactical advantage will always be the individual warfighter" and that he aims to give his troops the "biological foundation required to sustain the fight."   

Getting testy: Hegseth has already blocked promotions for military women, removed high-ranking female officers, and said women shouldn’t be in combat roles, so points for consistency? There’s much to this mandate that is still unknown — like how much it will cost taxpayers and what counts as “low” testosterone. Testosterone naturally declines with age (and has been linked to loss of muscle mass and fatigue), but medical organizations don’t agree on a single threshold for deficiency. Potentially more confusing is how this will affect female troops. Men produce testosterone at levels 10 to 20 times as high and there isn’t an FDA approved testosterone replacement therapy for women. Medical experts also note that it’s not a “more is better” hormone, and a wide range of testosterone levels are considered “normal.” As one professor of medicine told The Washington Post, “This is non-evidence-based and could cause harm.”

Related: President Trump Wants To Sell His Truth Social Posts to Who? (NBC News)

Finances

The Stay-At-Home Prenup

What's going on: Everyone is talking about Strangers this summer, and we’ve all heard horror stories of stay-at-home moms who got divorced... but didn't have Belle Burden's millions to cushion the financial blow. According to The Wall Street Journal, divorce attorneys are seeing a rise in the “leaving the workforce” trigger: prenup protections that kick in if one spouse (and, let’s be real, if it’s a hetero couple, it’s still almost always the mom) steps back from their career to take care of the kids. In fact, family lawyers told The Independent that around one in four prenups now includes such a clause. There’s no default standard just yet: Some take the SAHP’s salary prior to leaving the workforce and then add cost-of-living raises to calculate the hypothetical payout, while others have the working spouse deposit a percentage of their salary into a kind of “In Case of Divorce” investment account. Whatever the specifics, the goal is the same: solving for the motherhood penalty.

Sign here: American women now make at least as much as their partners in nearly half of marriages, but their income declines at almost twice the rate as men’s after a divorce — in part because women are much more likely to become stay-at-home parents, which kneecaps their earning potential after a breakup. Even if you get a 50/50 split of existing assets in a divorce, that doesn't account for the earning power a SAHP sacrificed to do the unpaid labor of caring for the kids and supporting their partner's career. For many, that means it’s only smart to protect yourself — and that's leading to a wider de-stigmatization of the prenup. One survey found that more than 40% of millennials and Gen Zers who'd ever been engaged or married said they’d signed a prenup, which is more than twice the national average. And if you don't believe us, pull up TikTok, search “prenup,” and tell them we sent you.

Related: Meet the Fairy Godmother of Divorce Registries (Oprah Daily)

World Cup

One More for the (Country) Roads

Say it ain’t so: After 48 teams, 104 matches, and one extremely online summer, the FIFA World Cup somehow ends with the matchup the internet has treated as destiny ever since this now-iconic photo resurfaced. In it, a 20-year-old Lionel Messi is giving a baby a bath for a UNICEF charity calendar. Nearly two decades later, Argentina’s veteran superstar will face that baby, now Spain’s 19-year-old phenom Lamine Yamal, in the finals on Sunday. This time, no bubbles. But the stakes match the lore. Argentina is chasing a second straight title, something no men’s team has done since Brazil in 1962. Spain could win its first since 2010 and finish the tournament unbeaten. It’s one generation against the next, with a very literal passing of the torch potentially waiting at the finish line. Whatever happens, someone better recreate that photo.

Before we say goodbye: Sure, we'll miss the goals. But we'll really miss the group chat they created. Yamal's three-year-old brother, Keyne, stole hearts with his singing and blowing kisses. Or Erling Haaland's all-in American summer — cowboy hats, Shrek jokes, and enough viral content to keep our FYP filled. Who could forget Cape Verde (and their goalkeeper) becoming the internet's people's champion because, per girl math, they won the whole thing. Or Boston's love affair with Scotland's Tartan Army, supertourist Freddy and others embracing what makes us special — wild portions, Walmart, and Buc-ee's. And now we’ll never be taking this for granted again. Finally, while we're still not sure why it became the US men’s team anthem — after one last whistle, it’s time for the country roads to take us home. We'll be recharged and ready when the US women take the stage (and win) next summer.

Related: Erling Haaland Finally Got Back to Tom Holland About That DM (Bleacher Report)

PS: Need to sound off about your favorite athlete? Still don’t understand offsides? Call our Well Played podcast hotline with your thoughts, questions, and concerns at (828) 412-4825, and you might be featured in next week's episode.

Quick Hits

🧬 How much do you actually know about living longer? This quiz humbled us fast.

👶 Anne Hathaway was gifted a custom Odyssey baby outfit on the Today show. It's epic (and adorable).

🧼 Your favorite cleaning hack has a few sworn enemies it shouldn't touch. Your wood furniture is begging you not to use it.

🔴 Before you splurge on that viral red light mask, dermatologists say one detail can make or break your results.

🎵 Wait… this pop star also performed at Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s wedding? We’re immediately back in our burned CD era.

 🎥 Robert Pattinson couldn't figure out what was happening next door in Matt Damon's trailer. His first guess was… not flattering. 

🥤 Your iced coffee routine might be one trick away from tasting way more expensive.

Skimm'd by: Marisa Iallonardo, Stephanie Gallman, Mallory Simon, Molly Longman, Erika W. Smith, Kate Preziosi, Jessica Prois, and Marina Carver. Fact-checked by Sara Tardiff.