Millennials Are About to Enter Middlescence

…And we’re back. The new year calls for some self-reflection. So this week, we’re talking about purpose: how to stop feeling ‘meh’ about life, figuring out the right goals, and avoiding a looming millennial-style midlife crisis. Enjoy.

Millennials Are About to Enter Middlescence 

OK, we'll say it: Millennials are starting to hit middle age. If you’re expecting the stereotypical midlife crisis, think again. However, it is a milestone that often comes with *feelings.* Instead of labeling the unpredictable emotions you might be feeling as a crisis, think about it like a normal part of your second adolescence — your middlescence. 

It’s going to be an emotional rollercoaster 

We’re not gonna lie, midlife can be a struggle. Happiness tends to dip, and millennials may have a worse go of it: One report says they earn 20% less than their boomer parents did at the same stage in life. They’re increasingly using their 40s to get married and have babies (much later than past generations). And they’re doing it amid a sky-high cost of living (especially housing), widespread loneliness, and the ability to constantly compare themselves to others online. All of which explains why millennial midlifers might feel stressed, anxious, depressed, or lost.

Many millennials were also taught to believe that they could do anything if they worked hard — leaving them at risk of disappointment when reality doesn’t line up with expectations. So it makes sense that some might experience what feels like a crisis. But whatever you’re feeling, calling it a “crisis” may be counterproductive because it’s a vague term with no clear solutions, says Margie Lachman, PhD, a professor of psychology at Brandeis University who studies midlife. Instead, she suggests digging deeper to understand what’s causing you to feel this way. 

Your move

Don’t let conventional ideas about midlife affect how you experience it. Many call their middle-age years “a very rich period of time,” says Meg Jay, PhD, a psychologist and author of “The Defining Decade.” So feel exactly as you feel, without judgment or labels. 

Jay also suggests conducting a mid-adulthood assessment. Ask yourself:

1. How far have I come?

2. What am I proud of?

3. What do I need more of?

4. What am I doing now that I don’t want to be doing in five years? 

As Lachman explains, taking stock at midlife can “stir up some anxiety and stress associated with maybe not having met goals.” But it’s also an opportunity to give yourself credit, figure out your needs and desires, and make positive changes that benefit you in the long run. And remember: You have time and a lot still to accomplish — just be selective about what you focus on, says Lachman.

What should I do if I’m feeling unfulfilled in life?

FEATURED EXPERT:

Krystal Conner

Certified life coach and podcast host

“Rate areas of your life: Your relationships, your health, your career, your money, on a scale of one to 10. It may be a six, then you need to know, why is it this number?

“Get really curious about, ‘Why am I feeling this way now?’ Maybe it's time to revisit what my ‘having it all’ version looks like at this stage. Write out [your] dream. What is your dream career? Your dream relationship? Your dream health situation? Your dream money situation? 

“[This process is] going to show you exactly where the roadblocks are. It opens up so many [options] of what is possible for you.”

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity. You can read the full story here.

Start the year with these stories to help you live better.

If you’re looking for a New Year’s resolution, try being more narcissistic. Yes, really. 

Does 2024 already hit different? Numerologists are counting on it.

What's one thing you'd tell your younger self? These women in their 60s have some thoughts.

When it comes to making a big change, less is more. Plus, one idea for helping your brain stick with it past January.

Speaking of habits: Some simple changes to your routine could make you happier.

Forward this to a friend. Click here.

"Perfect moment syndrome"

— The disappointed feeling you get when an event doesn't meet your high expectations. Pairs well with New Year’s Eve.