Money·3 min read

How to Talk Money With Your Partner

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Design: theSkimm
January 22, 2021

Talking with your partner about your finances (think: debt, income, spending habits, and future goals) is a love language of its own.

This is news to me.

You and most people. Having the money talk with your SO can be awkward. But not having it could be even worse. Money-related issues are often cited as a reason for divorce, especially during the pandemic era. And about a third of American couples say that they’ve financially cheated on a partner. So consider having open and honest discussions about money an investment in your relationship. How romantic.

When and how do I start talking about money with my partner?

As early as you can. Because if certain money issues are a deal breaker for you, you’re better off catching red flags sooner than later. Some discussions might come up naturally. Like when you both reach for the check at the end of a date. But others might need a little push. Opening up about your own situation first can help get the conversation going and encourage your partner to feel comfy sharing.

Got any talking points?

Anything and everything. Because transparency is key. Just remember: People have different relationships with money. So listen carefully, keep an open mind, and maintain a judgement-free zone. A few more specific ideas to get you started:

  • Your income. Nothing says intimacy like talking about your partner’s paycheck. Sharing how much you earn – and how that might change over time – can help tell you what kind of lifestyle you can afford together. Bonus: Talking out each of your intended career paths can help you decide if and how you can support each other throughout the journey. 

  • Your financial stats. As in, your credit score and debt load. Knowing these numbers, no matter how low or high, can tell you where you’re each coming from financially. And how to plan for the future.

  • Your money philosophies. Whether your SO's a spender or saver might be obvious. But making a point to talk about it can help you both discover why. Maybe you’ll learn how their parents made them feel about money. Or what financial anxieties they have. 

  • Your long-term money goals. Whatever your plans for the future (beach house? big family? world travels?), your partner needs to be on board. And vice versa. You know what they say about teamwork.

It makes the dream work.

Exactly. Next, discuss your financial future together. Do you want to merge your finances or keep them separate? Who prefers to take the reins on the budget? How will you both stay in the loop? Hint: there are no right answers. You just need to make sure you’re both on the same page.

And then my partner and I are done with the money talk?

Never. Money date nights should be a recurring event on your cal. That way, you and your partner can keep each other accountable and make sure you’re on track to reach your financial goals – together.


Mixing love and money can be a challenge. But having open and honest conversations can help you build a healthy relationship with your partner AND your wallet.

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