Send This to Your Snoring Partner If You Want a Good Night’s Sleep

Sleeping next to someone you love is all fun and games until they start snoring. Not only can it kill the romance — it can also kill your sleep quality. So how do you get some decent rest, despite what sounds like a freight train lying next to you? We asked Lynelle Schneeberg, a sleep psychologist, assistant professor at the Yale School of Medicine, and director of the behavioral sleep program at Connecticut Children’s Medical Center.

How to sleep better with a snoring partner 

Schneeberg says something deeply validating to all tired partners of snorers: “It isn't regular. It's not a sound that you can acclimate to.” You may get some relief between snores, but juuust as you start to doze off again, another one wakes you up. “Anything that fragments your sleep worsens your sleep,” says Schneeberg.

Featured Expert:

Lynelle Schneeberg, PsyD - A sleep psychologist, assistant professor at the Yale School of Medicine, and director of the behavioral sleep program at Connecticut Children’s Medical Center.

But don’t stress: Getting good sleep is still possible, says Schneeberg. It’s just going to require some changes. Here’s what to try…

For yourself

• Noise-canceling headphones. Schneeberg recommends the kind that are built into a soft headband. “Set up any sort of competing sound that you like — ocean waves, rain showers, music, whatever you like — and that can drown out the snoring,” she says. 

• Earplugs. Specifically those soft foam earplugs that expand inside your ear, she says. 

• Background noise. “Experiment with brown and white and pink [noise through a sound machine] and see what tones block the tones of their partner snoring,” says Schneeberg. A fan can also do the trick. 

• Sleeping apart. Don’t underestimate the power of a sleep divorce. It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with the relationship, Schneeberg adds. “They love each other, they have a great relationship, their intimacy is fine, but … they have a place where one partner or the other can go on a night when the snoring is particularly bad,” she says. 

For your partner

• Positional therapy. Not sleeping on their back can often help reduce your partner’s snoring, says Schneeberg. She recommends a belt with a bump along the back, which keeps them from rolling. If that’s not appealing, they can also try a wedge pillow to elevate their head. “If [your head is] over 30 degrees, you either don't snore at all or you snore much less,” she says. 

• Cutting back on alcohol. If they’re already prone to snoring, drinking alcohol, especially close to bedtime, can relax their throat muscles and make the snoring worse. 

• Sleep study. Getting a sleep study (typically from a somnologist) is the best way to find out what’s causing the snoring. Important, because “snoring can be a symptom of sleep apnea, [and] sleep apnea can put you at risk for health consequences that no one wants,” Schneeberg says. The condition has been linked to hypertension, heart attacks, and strokes. Many studies can be done from the comfort of your own bed, she adds. 

• Treatment for sleep disorders. If your partner is diagnosed with a sleep disorder through a sleep study, now you can really solve the problem. Example: Sleep apnea treatment can range from wearing a CPAP machine at night to lifestyle changes to surgery. Getting to the root of the problem is the ideal long-term solution, because it can eliminate the snoring altogether.