Ask An Expert·2 min read

If You’re An Oversharer, Here’s How to Dial it Back

Two women talking, sitting at a coffee shop
Design: theSkimm | Image: iStock
May 20, 2024

Picture this: You’re at a social event, and you start talking up a storm…when suddenly you realize you might be divulging too many details of your life. So when does oversharing go from simply having a conversation, to uncomfortable territory?

I sometimes overshare. Is that a bad thing?

In some cases, oversharing “can cultivate deeper connection, vulnerability, and enhance a friendship or relationship,” says licensed psychotherapist and life coach Babita Spinelli, LP. But in other situations, it could “create discomfort and resentment, as well as [be] considered disrespectful.” 

It comes down to certain factors, like when you’re sharing this info and with whom, she explains. One example is in the workplace — sharing too much about your outside-of-work life might cross certain boundaries or violate privacy.

So how can I stop oversharing?

Spinelli has a few tips… 

  • “Pause, assess the situation, and determine if it’s an appropriate setting to share” what you want to say.

  • Ask yourself: Will I help or hinder the situation by oversharing? “Consider any potential impact.” 

  • If you’re unsure if this is the right time, place, or audience, “work on exercising the reflective muscle.”

  • “Trust your gut … Any doubts [of oversharing] are an indicator not to share at the time.” 

  • Don’t be afraid to talk to a therapist or someone you trust about this issue.

  • Self-reflect on your motivations for oversharing. “Where might the oversharing come from? What might you be seeking when you overshare? What do you hope to achieve?”

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