July 5, 2023

How to Exercise… Your Emotions

Consider some of the reasons you might exercise, such as to strengthen your body and make it more resilient to injury. The concept of emotional fitness is the same, but with the focus on strengthening your mental muscles and honing your adaptability. It’s not about ignoring your feelings or being ashamed of them — rather, emotional fitness helps you navigate life’s ups and downs feeling capable and confident.

Are you emotionally fit?

According to Emily Anhalt, a clinical psychologist and co-founder of Coa, a “gym for mental health,” emotionally fit people commonly exhibit seven traits: self-awareness, empathy, curiosity, mindfulness, play, resilience, and communication. Anhalt recommends using the traits as a guide to assess your current emotional fitness level and where you have room for growth.

Then, try to bring “more awareness to yourself and the things you avoid emotionally,” she says. This means recognizing hard conversations, uncomfortable situations, and emotions you don’t allow yourself to feel. The aim is to get an understanding of how you handle these obstacles — is it with distraction (food, alcohol, or your own internal dialogue)? Pro-tip: If you're able, therapy can be a useful tool to help identify your patterns more easily.

How to strengthen your emotional muscles 

Try what Anhalt calls “emotional push-ups.” These are small moments of emotional discomfort that you can practice to help build mental resilience. “What I've found is that pretty much everything we want in life is on the other side of discomfort,” she says.

Everyone’s emotional fitness level and goals will be different, so you can decide which exercises to perform based on areas you want to improve. Some examples include “apologizing for a mistake, asking for feedback, meditating for five minutes, letting yourself feel sad, [or] celebrating a win,” says Anhalt. If “the thought of it makes you a little uncomfortable, then that's a good sign that it might be an emotional push-up worth doing.” 

Your move

Emotional fitness is more of a mindset for approaching personal growth rather than a specific program to follow. But if it’s something you’re interested in exploring, try incorporating small actions that push you outside of your emotional comfort zone into your daily life. 

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