Ask an Expert·3 min read

How To Stop Feeling So ‘Meh’ About Life

A woman at work looking off into the distance
Design: theSkimm | Photo: iStock
December 19, 2023

It sucks to feel ‘meh’ about your life. Being unfulfilled in your job, relationship, or where you live can have a major impact on your mental health. “Life is very transitional,” says certified life coach Krystal Conner. It’s completely natural to feel unsatisfied at some point. “What would have made me feel fulfilled at 20 is, at 46, completely different,” Conner adds. But how do you figure out what will make you happy? We asked Conner to break it down. 

Six signs you might be feeling unfulfilled 

Feeling unfulfilled most likely came from not living life on your own terms, says Conner. Like following the path society expected from you, or fulfilling family expectations or cultural norms at your own expense. These are some telltale signs to watch out for, according to Conner. 

  • You often think about the good ol’ days. “People will oftentimes look backwards … looking for their ‘glory days’ because they feel like there's nothing really interesting going on in the present.”

  • You’re constantly busy. “We will try to fill our calendar so that we feel fulfilled in some way or feel distracted from the fact that something is missing.”

  • You’re always trying to keep your head above water. “You're just trying to make it from day to day and you can't really think past ‘right now,’ much less a five-year plan or setting big goals.”

  • You’re feeling anxious or depressed. That may stem from feeling like a failure.

  • You’re constantly setting goals. “You're chasing that feeling of fulfillment,” but tend to abandon those goals for new ones. 

  • You feel like you're behind in life. Aka playing the comparison game. Shoutout to Instagram for that one. 

Sounds like me. How do I stop feeling unfulfilled?  

Set aside some time for self-reflection. Because you’re the only person who can decide what would make you happier. “Define what that looks like for you in a very honest way,” says Conner. Conner recommends asking yourself — or journaling on — these questions:

  • Why am I feeling unfulfilled?

  • How do I want to feel at the end of each day?

  • What is my ideal job, relationship, home life, or lifestyle?

  • What is the path to getting there?

Warning that this can get uncomfortable. “All of these thoughts about, ‘I can't do that’, ‘I've never done this,’ and, ‘that's not possible,’ come up. That is where all the work is,” she says. Challenge those beliefs by asking yourself... 

  • Are these beliefs really true?

  • How do these beliefs about myself help me? 

  • How do they hurt me?


Take it from Ferris Bueller: “Life moves fast. If you don’t stop and look around…” you may not realize you need to make a change. Once you do, treat it as an invitation to get curious about who you are and what you want out of your life. 

This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute a medical opinion, medical advice, or diagnosis or treatment of any particular condition. 

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